We Need a New George Carlin

Comedy today is without a doubt in an amazing state. The world is witnessing a boom in stand up that is really unrivaled when compared to most eras. The return of Dave Chapelle paired with the consistency of Louis CK and an upcoming return to the stage by Chris Rock are ushering in an era of comedy gold. One personality is still missing, however.

Biting social satire that really crosses the lines that need to be crossed is uncommon today in mainstream media. Our world needs that comedian who is not afraid to push buttons and challenge mainstream ideas without fear of criticism. An art mastered by past comedians such as Carlin, Bill Hicks & Lenny Bruce. As Carlin once said, “Comedians are supposed to find the line, then cross it.” 

Today we have few minds like these legends. Sure we have a comedian in Doug Stanhope who is hilarious, rips society apart, and could even make an argument for one of the best ever. Then there is a guy like Joey Diaz who does not shy away from saying what he wants in his hilarious fashion. But their mainstream likability is really all but nonexistent. 

The stand up comedians we have in our mainstream atmosphere are the like of Kevin Hart, Amy Schumer and the mind numbingly annoying “Fluffy”. Now that’s not to say these comedians aren’t funny, it’s just that they lack the social commentary America needs. 

Political Correctness is without a doubt suspect number one in the murder of this style. The control of speech from the far left – and right – has become out of control. New wave liberals push to silence anything that’s “not right” while the right wants to thwart your criticism of what they hold dear: mostly God & flag. If Americans should value any one freedom above all others it should be the right to criticize all ideas. Who throughout our recent history has done that better than comedians? 

Comedians are our modern philosophers. That’s not to say Larry the cable guy should be synonymous with Socrates, but there are other comedians out there. Comedians with a true message that relevant to society and forward thinking. Our mainstream culture accepts these ideas, but not entirely. Our world desperately needs more Carlin, Bruce and Stanhope. We could do with a little less Hart, Schumer and “Fluffy.”



Transgender Ban: True Motive?

Money is the blame, according to President Trump. Money is the reason for excluding a group from serving their country. But is money the true reason? Liberals of course speculate hatred against the trans community. Those in the LGBTQ community who supported him are of course feeling betrayed and understandably so. Conservatives and supporters say money or claim transgenders are synonymous with the mentally ill and tout their illness as reason for their incapacity to serve. One factor though seems to be nearly overlooked entirely: Obama. 
Let us not forget that Obama was the president who shut down “Don’t ask, don’t tell” and ultimately allowed transgenders to serve as easily as any other American. As we all know very well Trump and supporters have not shied away from their detesting of Obama policies. So one has to wonder, is this about money or mental illness? Or is it merely another attack on Obama accomplishments? 
Let’s look at money first. If the cost of treatment being covered by the military is truly a concern, then one has to take the medical coverage already being administered to other groups serving. Roughly $80 million a year is going to erectile dysfunction medicine. Transgender costs will total to roughly $8 million at the most. Of course there’s always the argument that these costs could be used for homeless veterans, but the military currently already prized erections over the homeless. 
Now, there is the argument of transgender individuals being mental ill. However, some considered as mentally ill are already permitted to serve in the military. One could easily point out that those with conditions such as ADHD are not permitted to serve. However, they are not altogether banned from service. No, there are specific exceptions. For ADHD, one only has to show they have functioned within the last year without medication. Some even reported that recruiters have followed “don’t ask, don’t tell” when it comes to more serious issues as depression or bipolar disorder. Why would trans individual not follow the same protocol as someone with ADHD? Proof of no other serious mental condition and the ability to function as a sane individual should suffice. 
But let’s get down to what this really seems to be. A direct attack on Obama policy. Don’t mistake me for a partisan Obama hack, though. I am not a supporter of everything he did and also was not a Hillary voter, but this does not mean I can not spot hatred when it arises. Whatever the Trump administration puts out over twitter or via Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ mouth, do not hesitate to question. 

Technology and our Perception

Bus rides are usually a boring mind numbing experience in where I can’t seem to avoid belligerent drug addicts and arrogant teenagers who won’t move from the front of the bus for an elderly woman. So in order to pass the time I dive so deep into my phone that I occasionally miss my stop. This brief absence from the reality around me is a pleasant time that I cherish.

 Quite often I find myself reading a futile article on my new favorite conspiracy theory, or simply gazing out the window listening to music with countless thoughts running through my mind usually to no avail. Then something peculiar happens. My early morning bus ride is now host to two additional interesting riders. 

The first is a young blonde woman, dressed in an attire that suggests she works at a bank or prominent business downtown. She takes a seat directly next to me as it is one of the few remaining seats. Just as I am clicking a link to an article that will subdue my thoughts for the next 15 minutes she takes out a book, Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by Neil Degrasse-Tyson to be exact. Good taste if you ask me. Suddenly my interest is peaked by the vast difference in how two individuals who are both millennials are choosing to take in information and/or past the time in a productive way. 

A few brief moments later an elderly gentleman walks onto the bus with his face buried into his cell phone. From the second he swipes his Pittsburgh Port Authority card he gives his undivided attention to his smart phone. Sitting a few rows ahead of me makes it rather difficult to see what has his attention, but his body language suggests it’s quite intriguing. A quick up and down look at his attire leads me to infer that he too is some sort of businessman, banker or in some other akin line of work. Perhaps he was reading an important memo or replying to an email from the governor. Or maybe he was on a final level of Candy Crush or replying to a Facebook message from a high school crush.

 Whether or not any of my observations or thoughts are correct are rather irrelevant, however. What’s interesting about this situation is how technology’s influence and role in our lives is perceived. Opinions from millennials on technology are well known as being very positive. Our elders, however, are usually more in favor of getting their information and entertainment from print such as a book, magazine, or newspaper. Encountering these two individuals from different generations who were partaking in forms of entertainment from their opposing generations was interesting. It’s often that we hear rhetoric of our elders that in order to achieve true intellectualism one must be an avid reader. 

But I’ve begun to wonder, how true is that? Obviously in order to be considered as such one must be verbose and able to read, but are books essential to that? With the recent creation of kindles, smartphones, and the like do we truly need print? Of course if someone is engaging in a book on kindle they are still reading but that does not change the fact that most are opting for this option instead. Not only are kindles growing more popular but we have the option of audiobooks now. So instead of reading we have the option of another person with a voice that can put you to sleep reading to us. Think of it as bedtime stories for adults. 

Now I ask myself what is too be taken from this encounter I had? Many of the perceptions we see in media is of an elderly man who has no clue about the specifics of technology. More often than that it is made to seem as though millennials have no interest anything that doesn’t take a charge. Whether or not these speculations are true does not change the fact that technology can be immensely beneficial. Perception here is the real issue. Of course an unhealthy amount of time spent on your phone can be counter-productive but does that qualify it for demonization? Too often we hear “put your phone down and pick up a book!” But our phones hold books and quite frankly they hold the encyclopedia of the Gods: the internet. 

For good old fashioned brain stimulation and an enhancing of your creativity, pick up a book. But the idea that a phone can not provide the same benefits is preposterous. Books are here to stay for the time being. They are not being phased out and readers are not a dying species. Technology may create a reluctance in new readers to indulge in a book, but readers are still here. Keep tweeting and searching and posting, but don’t forget about print. 

Heaven: Is it that great?

 

Am I the only one who thinks Heaven sounds pretty shitty? I think I’d rather take a cheese grater to my nipples than spend eternity in a place where I can’t even be stoned whilst singing hymns.  Growing up a Christian, Heaven was the predominantly confusing aspect in the bible.  The bible’s viewpoint on this magical kingdom is derived directly from who? That’s right, the king.  How many times have you heard a king bad talking his own property?  I’m interested more in the most-viewed yelp reviews of Heaven’s slums before trusting the words of a genocidal tyrant. Because really that’s all God essentially is; an omnipotent, bloodthirsty, incest condoning, pro-slavery tyrant.  The idea of a God who requires you to come into his house every week to sing to him and beg for his love in order to evade an eternity of suffering. This doesn’t sound like a very loving God to me.  However, these are tiresome oft-repeated arguments and points.  My issue is with Heaven and the weird flaws that most don’t seem to tend to.

What is Heaven like?  Asking this question to a roomful of Christians will most likely get a different answer from each one.  The one question that will really baffle them is this:  What form will you take in Heaven?  By asking that I ask will you be a child? Will you be reborn? Or will you enter your new life as you left your old one? Say you get decapitated in a 24 car pileup with a door handle in your stomach.  Will you arrive in Heaven with your head in your hand?  Perhaps Heaven has kiosks akin to what we see at Sheetz, with St. Peter handing out those tickets you get a deli.  And on these kiosks maybe you can choose what you’d want to look like.  Could you imagine that with our materialistic society?  You’d have every guy walking around as either Brad Pitt or Idris Elba with no penis being under 10 inches.  Speaking of genitalia, can you have sex in Heaven?   Doesn’t sound much like heaven to me if you can’t have as much fun as you want every once in a while.  I mean even if God were to forbid you from making love, wouldn’t we still have that human intuition to fantasize?  I mean really who hasn’t lusted upon thy neighbor?  In Matthew 22:30 the bible tells us:  “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”  Hence, it seems there will be solely neighbors to lust once entering the pearly gates.  This leads me to ask, will Heaven or Hell be the afterlife of fun?

Hell is portrayed as a place of eternal suffering where sinners will go for their lives that were void of a relationship with God.  However, is it that bad? Will you be able to get drunk in Heaven? Smoke a cigarette? What if you’re lonely at 3 a.m. and want to call up a holy hooker?  And what about psychedelics?  Weed, psilocybin, LSD, DMT, etc.?  You know, those unjustifiably illegal, non-lethal drugs that do no more than expand your mind.  I think if psychedelics were to be unleashed upon a devout Christian in heaven, he’d had a Descartes-level questioning of the Kingdom and would probably dive head first into Hell.  If you ask me, the afterlife filled with drinkers, gamblers, sports addicts, porn enthusiasts, intellectuals, pot-smokers, and other outstanding members of society is much more appealing than an afterlife full of boot-lickers, non-drinkers, non-profane, and just generally unexciting people who sing hymns in unison.  

And you really mean to tell me we will be without sin in Heaven? Say that the 10 commandments are very literal in Heaven. We’d see thousands of men being thrown to Hell by God himself. And what’s heaven if you can’t kill a few people that pissed you off on Earth. What if Jesus is pissing you off? I could imagine Jesus as being one of those rich kids ya know? “Well my Dad owns Heaven so you have to listen to me!” Let’s create a scenario: We’re at the annual Last Upper celebration,that’s everyone in Heaven, sitting at like a 500 mile long table. And you’re sitting there drinking your wine & as you go for another sip Jesus comes by and steals your last piece of mana! So naturally, you backhand the asshole just out of pure instinct. What happens? I mean that’s gotta be a sin right? Sounds like a one-way ticket to hell. So, after being on your greatest behavior on Earth you have to be on just as good of if not better behavior? 

Also can we please stop it with the idea that Heaven has some NSA level system that every citizen has access to. How scared of dying are our religious friends? Not only do we have to have an eternal magical kingdom we arrive at upon death, we are able to watch our loved ones suffer a shitty existence on Earth until they arrive. 

And stop trying to pray to your loved ones in heaven. Don’t you think they have better things to do? I highly doubt your dead father wants to hear about your football game while he could be riding on the back of a pterodactyl whilst having a threesome with Marilyn Monroe and Cleopatra. But all in all. that’s just my opinion, you’re entitled to your own.  But I encourage you to challenge everything you are told. 

Religion Doesn’t Belong in Politics

I’m tired of extremist conservatism. I’m fed up with Christian/Muslim/Jewish fundamentalism. There should be no bible thumping or preaching being done in Congress or any form of government. I have no issue with the religious becoming involved in politics, however, when the Bible is used as a science, historical or geopolitical textbook that’s where you lose me. For instance, a debate was held between my Grandmother, my mother and myself yesterday about Israel and Palestine. I, not knowing the entire history truthfully, did side slightly with Palestine. I stated that I sided with Palestine because it seems there is an ongoing attempt by Israel to “push Palestine into the sea.” My mother took the side of Israel and my grandmother was against building more settlements. This is where I had to bow out. My mother stated: “Russia and China are going to take us over then go for Israel. Once they try to take Israel judgement will come. It’s right there in the Bible.” Then my grandmother replies: “No Sherry, Israel will be taken over. Remember they’re the ones don’t believe in Christ..” Blah, blah, blah. Really? This is exactly what I meant by using the Bible as a geopolitical textbook. Please, keep Jesus out of politics. This is why the separation of church and state was established. It’s ridiculous and it needs to stop. Stay vigilant. Stay aware.